Uncertain times

Oh how my heart aches...I keep praying to God for numbness to set in. I know that in order to heal, I must work through this pain. I miss my old life, even though it was based on a lie. I reminisce about the comforting arms wrapped around me where I was safe from the world. I remember what it felt like to feel the warmth of his hand in mine. How can I still love a man that has betrayed me on so many levels and abandoned his family? I don't know, but I do.

I am up late again tonight working on a general letter of inquiry to submit to Foundations. I was blessed with a small freelance job. I feel fortunate to have this opportunity, but sometimes it is hard to concentrate. Many times I still feel as if I am in a nightmare...if I could just wake up my life would be back to a normal state.

Everything is so uncertain right now. I am so scared to face the future alone. I know I must remain strong for my child, but fear consumes my every action. Hopefully these posts will not continue to be so depressing. But right now, these emotions surround me.